All He Wanted was Pie and Sleep
by thefandomlover
Summary: All Dean wanted was pie. And what did he find? Not his pie, that's for certain. ONESHOT Warnings: mentions-of-but-not-descriptive-sexual-content, Sabriel, language, Dean/Gabriel sassy rivalry, some OOC? Read and Review please! :)


**WARNINGS: Oneshot, OOC(?), SamxGabriel pairing, not-that-descriptive-but-it's-there-sexual-content, Dean/Gabriel sassy rivalry, Sam doesn't really do a whole lot in this fic and I'm sorry?**

**I do not own Supernatural and I never will.**

* * *

"Oh. My. God."

All Dean Winchester wanted was pie. All he wanted was his leftover piece of pie from the diner around the block. And what does he find when he gets back from his solo hunt?

Not his freaking pie, that's for certain.

No, he finds he baby brother and Gabriel having sex on the couch. _His_ couch.

"I sleep there you assholes!" Dean yelled at the tangled bodies. There was a pause. Then, very slowly, Gabriel turned, gave Dean a broad smirk, and proceeded to turn back to Sam and kiss him playfully. Sam responded just as enthusiastically, bringing his body closer to Gabriel's as he deepened the kiss.

Dean averted his eyes, a [totally manly] blush spreading across his features as he processed what just happened. He had walked in on his brother. While he was having the sex. Abruptly, Dean turned on the spot and exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

Rubbing the blush from his cheeks -because goddammit he totally was not embarrassed- Dean contemplated his options. He couldn't go to the diner because it was one in the morning and they only stayed open until eleven, he couldn't get his midnight pie snack from the fridge, and he couldn't even go to sleep on his own couch. Even worse, he couldn't even go out to find a new place to sleep because he was just too tired-and mortified, for that matter- to think properly.

Looked like the option was either sleeping on Sammy's bed or on the floor. And considering the scene just in the opposite room, Dean was going to take his chances with the floor, thank you very much.

Dean heard a muffled moan and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

...

That was it.

It was sometime past two in the morning and, after a particularly loud thump, Dean couldn't take it anymore. He only had so much resolve. With glazed eyes and clenched fists, Dean shuffled over to his stereo to drown out the noise. With a twist of his wrist, Dean blasted rock music from the speakers.

The noises in the other room ceased for one quiet, peaceful moment.

And then they started again, increasing in intensity, their moaning matching the volume of the music and then some, becoming even louder.

Dean's eyes blazed. He had not slept. In two days. The least Sam could do is KEEP IT DOWN.

"If it's a war they want," Dean muttered darkly, "then it's a war they'll get."

With that, he cranked up the volume a few more decibels.

And Gabriel, just next door, grinned. Challenge accepted.

* * *

How they did it was a mystery to Dean. One minute he would turn up the volume, and in the next Sam and Gabriel would match it. Before Dean knew it, he had reached the volume limit. And they were _still _loud enough to hear.

Realizing that method wasn't working, Dean shut off the stereo, hoping that, at the least, they would go back down to a somewhat tolerable level.

They didn't.

"Fuck this." Dean swore as he got up to get a bucket from outside to fill with cold water. Once this was completed, he went inside, opened the door to the living room, and promptly threw the freezing contents onto the couple, exiting the room to their exclamations of surprise. To _hell_ with the couch, he just wanted to _sleep_.

And for once, it was silent.

* * *

Dean didn't know exactly when he fell asleep, but however long the amount of time he slept was not nearly enough. As such, he groaned pitifully when Sam woke him up.

"Good morning." Sam greeted him.

Dean gave him the middle finger in response before pulling himself up and leaving the room without a word.

Afraid to see what the couch looked like, Dean kept his eyes firmly shut as he traveled to the kitchen. Too tired to make himself breakfast once there, Dean microwaved the piece of pie he was going to eat the prior night and tiredly set it on the table.

"You don't look so good," Gabriel remarked, "Did you sleep well?"

Dean stared at him with murderous, bloodshot eyes.

"So not well, I take it?"

"...You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" Dean finally answered.

Gabriel's grin widened and he wiggled his eyebrows, "Your brother knows that firsthand."

Dean slammed his head against the table. That's it. He hated them.

At least Sam had the decency to slap Gabriel for the inappropriate comment.

Dean supposed he could forgive Sam.

Maybe.

* * *

**A/N: How did I do? ****Not only is this my first ever one-shot, it is also the first time I have ever even referenced sexual content in any story- so I'm just going to assume that I did not do that well. Review?**


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